Last night my little boy whom has autism was having a horrible night. He got up at 2 am and if you know somone with autism that isnt uncommon and it wasnt like he was sad or unhappy he just couldnt sleep any longer. So he started kicking the walls. Its a stim of his he lays in bed and kicks the walls because he likes the way it sounds and pressure he gets on his feet from it. but as you can imagine there was going to be no sleep for anyone in the household. My hubby and i tried and tried but we were up every couple minutes or so checking on him or asking him to stop kicking the walls. There was no such luck so as usual my hubby and i start fighting because we are exhausted. This usually ends with us screaming at each other. Raising a child with autism can be very hard and it can really tear people apart. Ok so back to us screaming. I just decide out of no where this is not worth fighting over anymore.
I actually just stop out of nowhere being upset and start thinking of all the reasons i have to be happy
which i will tell you are alot :)
I have a great family and thats happiness all in itself
but i can relate this epiphany also with my weight loss journey
with weight loss no one can do it for you you have to do it yourself
just like no one can make you happy you have to make yourself happy
i realize i have changed my life for the better this past year
i have basically stopped to smell the roses
Even as i write this at 5 am sitting next to my little one whom is asking me to kiss his stuffed puppy dog goodnight LOL
I love my life i wouldnt change it at all
in the morning i will still have this horrible cold and be exhausted but i will have my wonderful family
i will be happy because I made myself happy
I stopped myself from being upset and dwelling on what could or should be (like i should be asleep or my hubby shouldnt be yelling at me)
instead i get to spend this extra time with my son and i will be able to say in the morning I LOVE YOU to my hubby instead of being upset
its never worth fighting because i know i will always be there for my hubby at the end of the day
what an epiphany i have had tonight
i only hope that i can remember this on every hard night
i hope to always remember that no one else can make me happy I need to choose to be happy and then use my own actions to keep myself happy even through the rough times.
SSSSOOOOOO i am done with my epiphany writing for now
i am going to sit here and watch handy manny with my beautiful son and when my hubby gets up give him a huge kiss and maybe at some point tell him everything i have learned tonight especially the part about how much i love him and that ill be there no matter what so there will be no more night time fights about autismic stims :) it is what it is and i wouldnt change this life for the world
This made me smile, Bee. :)
ReplyDeleteMy sister is a SAHM now, but before was a special ed teacher. She has told me many stories about "her" special ed kids. She absolutely loved her job. I was always so impressed with her patience. I am equally impressed with your post. So sweet and touching :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful post!!!! You rock!!!
ReplyDeleteHello Bee. This is the first time I've visited your blog. Lisa "One Mom's Weight Loss" told me to come on by and check it out since last night I wrote a post about my son who has Autism not sleeping and how tired I've been dealing with his getting up and trying to climb into my bed so many times a night. Nice to know I'm not alone in the land of the exhausted parents. It's nice to hear from other moms who have special needs children. I'll be reading your blog from now on. :0)
ReplyDeleteThat's evil with the ice-cream. Mine has cake and cookies!!!!
ReplyDeleteGood post. You are a strong & wonderful mom. Your son is lucky to have you.
ReplyDeletethanks everyone for all the nice comments!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteawww that is just so sweet! :) That's such a nice outlook and I could certainly think more like that myself. :)
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